Reflecting on 2011

*a bit long... entirely too text-heavy... my apologies*

What a crazy year. If you asked me back in January to predict the events that would take place in my life throughout the year, I don't think I would predicted one actual occurrence. Hell, if you asked me about two months ago how I saw 2011 ending, I sure as heck wouldn't have seen some things coming.

Last year in the month of December, I participated in Reverb10 - where a prompt was posted every day, to reflect on 2010 and to look forward to 2011. I was looking forward to this year's prompts, but the organizers decided to formally end it. For this post, I want to look back at some of those prompts and see how I did.

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One Word: My word for 2010 was "hurt." I thought I wanted my word for 2011 to be "rekindle," but I don't think I accomplished that. The real word for 2011, without a doubt, is "CHANGE." So many things changed in 2011. I will do a recap at the end of this post with more on that. But for sure 2011 was all about the change.

Community: The prompt asked where I discovered a community in 2010 and where I would like to join, create or deeply connect with in 2011. I said that for 2010, I discovered a community at work. And that for 2011, I wanted to join the Austin community in giving back - doing more community service. Reflecting on the past year, I think that I may have put too much emphasis on my community at work. I work a lot of days and hours at my job, and with that comes a great deal of time with coworkers. We spend a lot of time hanging out after hours, as well. It's been a blast. But I think I've been neglecting another community - and that would be my community of close friends who I haven't seen in a long time. For 2011, I said that I wanted to give back... unfortunately, I didn't do nearly what I wanted. I did volunteer at the Feast of Sharing the week of Thanksgiving. Still, three hours in one day is nothing to be all that proud of. I should have done more.

11 Things: The prompt asked what were 11 things that I didn't need in 2011. Let's see how I did:

1. Migraines. Well, yes and no. I'm currently battling one that started earlier in the day. Following the spinal tap in March and a slew of medications,  my migraines are less frequent and painful than last year. I haven't had any other blackouts, so that's fabulous. The migraines that do come still last a few days, but they are much more manageable now. I have follow-up appointments with the neurologist every 2-3 months, and the past few visits have been status quo.
2. Clutter. Again, yes and no. There was a time earlier this fall when my apartment was the cleanest it's ever been since moving in. I got rid of tons of crap, put things away, organized, etc. And it stayed like that for awhile... actually, until about two months ago. Life got hectic, and I basically threw things all over the place when I got home. My plan is to tackle it again this week while I'm off work... finish some home decor projects I started but never finished. I liked the feeling of a de-cluttered, put together apartment months ago, so here's to hoping I do it again.
3. Belly jelly. So, last year was bad. The scale registered a number that shocked the beejees out of me. I mean, it was scary high. And yet what I couldn't figure out was how it was that high. I was playing volleyball three times a week, wasn't eating all that bad, wore the same clothing size as before. Then came the spinal tap in March. Following the spinal tap, the number on the scale dropped about 15 pounds. I felt lighter. Since then, my weight has held steady, which is still too high for me. I've recently started a weight loss challenge with Denise... three weeks into it, I lost 2.5 pounds, gained back 2 pounds, and will see the damage during tomorrow's weigh-in. My clothes are all starting to be a bit loose... pretty much all pants I can pull down without unbuttoning or unzipping... that's even after they've been washed - you know, when they are the most snug. Throughout September to early October, I actually did not eat fast food. It was a good feeling. Since then, I have only had fast food once a week, but more like once every other week. There have been the occasional slips of maybe two outings in a week... will have to work on my restraint. So a good start, but I need to ramp up the working out and eating habits. 
4. Ugly, fragile knees. The good news is that my knees haven't bled this year while playing volleyball! The bad news is that they still take a beating during my games. They still end up with bruises and swelling. I know, I know... not good.
5. Bills, bills, bills. UGH. Bills will be the death of me! This year was not good, namely due to a little thing called a spinal tap. What a freaking ridiculous amount of money. To be honest, I wasn't financially responsible this year. The past couple of months I've been better. I'm going to work hard this year to get on a budget and really watch my spending - which I don't spend too much - but I do need to prioritize my spending. It's still hard with a measly salary.
6. Lack of happy hours. There definitely wasn't a lack of happy hours in 2011! Trudy's and I became good companions. I still don't like their food, but their queso, margaritas and Mexican martinis - yes, please! I'm quite certain queso and tequila became a staple in my food pyramid. Now, now... let me clear something up. Though I participated in a great deal of happy hours this year, I'm pretty conscientious about my drinking. On average, I drink about two margaritas at a happy hour. There are the occasional happy hours where I might have three, possibly four, margaritas, but I can count those days on one hand. And there are the outings when I only have one drink. Now my queso intake... that it something to worry about!
7. Ipod nano, 1st generation. I almost bought a new Ipod but then couldn't make a decision on which one. I know... me, not able to make a decision... what else is new. As luck would have it, my old school Ipod has recently been recalled by Apple for an exploding battery. They just sent me the package to return my rickety device and get a brand, spanking new one! 
8. My ex's t-shirts. All gone... except that long-sleeved one. Butttttt... I don't wear it all the time. It's not my go-to long-sleeved shirt anymore. Does that count? No?... must throw it away? Thoughts?
9. Fear of the unknown. I actually lived in the moment a few times this year. I did hold back when I maybe shouldn't have, but otherwise, I'm proud of myself... must continue making strides.
10. Choo choo bullshit train. Oh, the train. Welp, this train has officially rolled on by the last couple of months. It had its highs and lows. Feelings were acknowledged but not acted upon (on both parts). And now he's gone... in another state for now, another country soon, and then back to another state for three years for law school. He and I are still friends, which we might not have been if we did something impulsive. We still talk and will hopefully be seeing each other in a couple of weeks. But I can't help but wonder - we didn't act upon our feelings because we are good friends... what if our friendship fades away? Did we miss an opportunity? I guess it's like people say, every thing happens for a reason.... if it's meant to be, it will come back... and all that other crap. But for now, the book is closed on this... and I look forward to talking and hanging out with him when I can.
11. My snippy snappy attitude. NOT GOING ANYWHERE! 

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I mentioned that 2011 was all about change. Just a quick look at some bigger changes:

• Home life: I got a dog, Presley. I'm not going to lie... it hasn't been easy. In fact, I've been in tears the past couple of weeks, contemplating giving him up. And then he puts his head on my chest and looks at me with those doggy eyes, and I'm hooked. But it's really not fair to him... as a Jack Russell terrier, his lifestyle doesn't mesh well with mine. I'm hoping that my mom will be able to take him - even if part-time... like a shared custody sort of thing. I care about him too much to just drop him off at a shelter and don't want to worry about him with a new family. I'm also looking into doggie day camp once a week and hoping that I can find a training class that works with my schedule. I think these things will help. But if changes aren't made, I'm afraid I won't be able to keep him. While that's only one change in my home life, it's a pretty significant change - as pet owners can attest. 
• Professional life: The year started with a boss retiring and ended with a boss leaving. So yeah, things have been a-changin'. I also relocated to a cubicle in office neverland, which isn't all that bad (considering my previous setup). Despite the changes, my position never really changed, which was bothersome. It's hard to have the same title as another but be doing a significant amount more work - both in depth and breadth. 
• Baby life. No worries, no babies for me! I'm incredibly happy for everyone in my life who welcomed new additions to their families this year - with of course Caitlin, Julia and Paige being those closest to me. Dynamics have definitely changed, but of course it's a good change. All these little girls are super adorable and have amazing parents. I can't wait to watch them grow.
• Myself: Denise and Derek recently commented that I've changed, in a good way. According to them, I'm more outgoing and engaging with new people. I've also been a bit more outspoken. Not in the "I talk a lot more" way but in the speaking up for myself way. And also speaking out... for myself and for others who maybe can't. 

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The year is coming to a somber close; it's been a bit difficult. In the last month and half, I have "lost" four people that I talked to on an almost daily basis... well, three of them for sure. Well, one of them isn't "lost" yet but will be soon, as he is leaving our company. Also, all year I have been anticipating my brother's retirement from the Army after 20 years of service. He was set to retire in August 2012... we were looking forward to celebrating both his retirement and his 40th birthday. But a couple of weeks ago he got notice that he will be deployed to Afghanistan in March for 9-10 months. He's currently trying to sell his house and box up and store his belongings. His deployment saddens and angers me.

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almost done... I swear!

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I don't mean to sound optimistic (because we all know I'm not), but I have slight hope for 2012. 

Work-wise, I'm in a great position. I'm being challenged - which I haven't felt that way in a long time; I'm being utilized - which at times is a bit too much, but it's all about multi-tasking and time management; and, fingers crossed, will have a new position within months... and if rumblings pan out, a new office space.

I'm enjoying hanging out with friends and making new ones. Sports Sunday, or sometimes Saturday or even both days, has been a nice change to my routine, and I hope it continues in 2012. Health-wise and financially, I'm more focused to execute better habits. 

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I hope that you had a great holiday. Happy new year!