Work Derrick's birthday was a couple of weeks ago. Per tradition between Derrick, Courtney and myself, I decorated his side of the office. And no birthday is complete without pin the tail on the donkey. I taped the game on our office door and was the first to go. Here's a close-up of where I pinned - er, taped - the tail:
Courtney insisted that I cheated. On the contrary, I did not. As I said to her, "I just have a knack of finding the assholes."
I'm not sure who reads this blog - could be friends, family, random people. Some people may know about the things I'm about to post while others may not; some may wonder why I'm posting such details and others may be surprised to hear these things. But one thing I have to remind my readers is this: this is MY blog...MY life...MY stories...and I can write whatever the hell I want to write.
So with that being said...back to my knack of finding the assholes...
I have not had the best of luck when it comes to guys. Mainly, two guys I dated back-to-back really did a number on me. I was always told they were assholes, but I thought they were different - that when around me another side came out, a side that nobody else saw. I thought I could be a good influence and change their ways. They ended up staying the same and what happened was that I changed...I changed into the girl I swore I would never become.
I became jealous, insecure, clingy. What little confidence I had was depleted. I was someone so completely unlike the person I had imagined myself to be.
The first guy was not really a crowd favorite. He was rude and a bit of an asshole to most people but never to me...until New Orleans (some know the infamous New Orleans story; if not, it makes for a good story). After he cheated on me, I still stupidly dated him for a brief time. That ended, and he quickly moved on...and then quickly moved on after that...and then quickly moved on after that.
The next guy was the complete opposite of the first, personality wise. He was the life of the party with a personality that could reel anyone in. When he was around, fun was automatic. There were many, many years of on-again, off-again dating. From the ages of 20-25ish, I should have been having fun enjoying my time...and for the most part, I was. But behind closed doors, it wasn't always fun. The arguments, the lies, the emotional abuse, the physical abuse - it was something that nobody should have to put up with. And yet, I was young, dumb and in love. I let him completely beat me down, both figuratively and literally. And then once it was all over, I still wanted to be his friend. Dumb dumb dumb. Even as friends, he puts me down and says some pretty awful things.
I lost sight of who I was, and about 90% of the time during those years, I was not a happy person. I don't want to ever feel that way again.
I'm older - hopefully wiser - and it's time to move past all the assholes.
I'm not sure who reads this blog - could be friends, family, random people. Some people may know about the things I'm about to post while others may not; some may wonder why I'm posting such details and others may be surprised to hear these things. But one thing I have to remind my readers is this: this is MY blog...MY life...MY stories...and I can write whatever the hell I want to write.
So with that being said...back to my knack of finding the assholes...
I have not had the best of luck when it comes to guys. Mainly, two guys I dated back-to-back really did a number on me. I was always told they were assholes, but I thought they were different - that when around me another side came out, a side that nobody else saw. I thought I could be a good influence and change their ways. They ended up staying the same and what happened was that I changed...I changed into the girl I swore I would never become.
I became jealous, insecure, clingy. What little confidence I had was depleted. I was someone so completely unlike the person I had imagined myself to be.
The first guy was not really a crowd favorite. He was rude and a bit of an asshole to most people but never to me...until New Orleans (some know the infamous New Orleans story; if not, it makes for a good story). After he cheated on me, I still stupidly dated him for a brief time. That ended, and he quickly moved on...and then quickly moved on after that...and then quickly moved on after that.
The next guy was the complete opposite of the first, personality wise. He was the life of the party with a personality that could reel anyone in. When he was around, fun was automatic. There were many, many years of on-again, off-again dating. From the ages of 20-25ish, I should have been having fun enjoying my time...and for the most part, I was. But behind closed doors, it wasn't always fun. The arguments, the lies, the emotional abuse, the physical abuse - it was something that nobody should have to put up with. And yet, I was young, dumb and in love. I let him completely beat me down, both figuratively and literally. And then once it was all over, I still wanted to be his friend. Dumb dumb dumb. Even as friends, he puts me down and says some pretty awful things.
I lost sight of who I was, and about 90% of the time during those years, I was not a happy person. I don't want to ever feel that way again.
I'm older - hopefully wiser - and it's time to move past all the assholes.
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