Worst.Health Insurance.EVER!

A follow-up to my last post...

First off, thank you to Eugene, Terri and Rebecca for the comments.

The main reason I posted the entry was so that people can understand what I'm going through. When I tell people that I have a headache every day - and for that matter, a headache every day for two years now - or that the pain is so unbearable that at times I can't lift my head off my pillow, I feel that people don't really believe me. Posting about it allowed me to show people that I haven't been making it up, that my pain level is real. Just last night the pain was ridiculous; I just curled up in a ball on the living room floor and massaged my temples and forehead while crying in pain. I eventually just cried myself to sleep.

My work insurance sucks... I mean, MAJORLY sucks. We are on a high-deductible plan, which basically means I have to pay out-of-pocket until I reach my deductible. Then, everything is covered for the rest of the year. So I needed to figure out how much I would have to pay when I go in for my spinal tap. After a ridiculous game of 'see how many messages I can leave with the pre-admissions department at the hospital in three days before they call me back,' I finally gave up and called my neurologist. Luckily her nurse came through and got the information I needed. When I go in for my spinal tap, I will need to pay approximately $2,000. Some people with a HDP would rejoice... that would mean they probably reached their deductible. Not true for me. My effing deductible is $4,000! So I will have a $2,000 procedure but will then still only be halfway to my deductible. EFFING RIDICULOUS!

And one final note about the stupid disorder... the more I have researched the side effects of minocycle and its relationship to IIH, the more angry I am at my dermatologist for prescribing it. I particularly like that Wikipedia says "minocycline is rarely used in female patients." Then why was I prescribed it? Last I checked, I'm a female. I looked through my files this week and found my receipts for the minocycline. I was prescribed Solodyn and filled the prescription twice... each time, I paid a whopping $444 out-of-pocket. So $888 later, I have a rare neurological disorder. Fucking fantabulous.

I'm just so angry... and sad... and scared. I called my mom crying earlier this week. I wouldn't be so scared except that I've already had some horrible symptoms. The scariest part of all is when I experience random visual loss. While driving to work one morning, my vision was lost for a few seconds. I felt my car swerve and recovered right as I drifted to another lane. I almost pulled over on the side of Hwy 183 and called C-Rat to come pick me up because I was so scared. On Thanksgiving, I was driving to my brother's house when my vision went black again. When I recovered, I had just hit the side of the road/sidewalk and then swerved back onto the road into the next lane. Luckily nobody was walking on the sidewalk or driving in the other lane. It happened down the road from my apartment, so I just turned around and went back home, too scared to get back in the car. I finally drove to my brother's house and told my family what happened. Needless to say, they weren't happy that I didn't call one of them to come pick me up.

But anywho, I just wanted people to try and understand what I'm going through. What's happening to me isn't visible, so I feel that people don't really take it seriously. And when I say that I have a headache, people, including my own mom, just want to offer me a pain pill and say get over it. It's so much more than that. And I just hope that people can sort of understand a little of what I've been going through for two years.