Everything's Gonna Be Alright

Reverb 10
December 24: Everything's OK

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright?

And how will you incorporate that discovery into the new year?

(Author: Kate Inglis)

*****

I honestly can't remember if what I'm about to write about happened in 2010 (it might have happened in 2009), but oh well. It's the first thing that came to mind.

Pretty much everyone who knows me (at least in real life) knows that my oldest brother is in the Army. He has been enlisted since 1992. I still remember the day he left for basic training - I cried my eyes out in school (I was in 4th grade). 

During his service, he has deployed to Kosovo/Albania in 1999 , Iraq in 2003, Korea in 2005, and Afghanistan in 2008 (I think all those years are right). Before Afghanistan, I never asked about his time in war. When he got back from Afghanistan, all of a sudden I wanted to know everything.

Despite hearing stories and seeing pictures of his time in Afghanistan, I found another part of his job to be the toughest thing I've ever heard anyone have to do. In the past, my brother has mentioned "funeral duty." I never asked what that meant, and he never offered up the information. It wasn't until recently that he told me what that entails.

Each year, for a period of weeks, my brother is assigned to a region. During that time, if a soldier is killed, my brother has to tell the fallen soldier's next of kin the news. He drives through the night to the family's house and sometimes waits outside in his car until it's time to tell them (there are certain hours). When they open the door and see him, they already know what he's going to say.

In addition to breaking the devastating news to the family, he also folds the flag at the funeral and gives it to the family - usually to the mom or wife. My brother said there have been times that the moms won't let go of his hands, that they are trying to hold on as long as possible.

I asked my brother if it's hard for him to do this. He said yes, that his soldiers have asked him in the past how he is able to stay strong while the family is crying in front of him. It's the worst part of his job, but he has to do it.

*****

Whenever I think "man, my job sucks today. I wish I could stay home," I need to remember that hey, my brother might be telling a mom that her son is dead. I'm crying over stupid stuff at work like the unfairness of slackers getting away with things/rewarded for their slacky ways (yes, I'm still bitter) - and my brother is having to be strong while delivering the worst news one can hear. It puts things into perspective.

I lost perspective in 2010 and remembering this story that my brother shared with me will hopefully bring that perspective back in 2011. And then I can remind myself that everything's gonna be alright...